


Press X to Not Die

by canistakahari



Series: gamer bones [3]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Humor, M/M, Video & Computer Games
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-10
Updated: 2012-10-10
Packaged: 2017-11-16 01:29:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/533979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/canistakahari/pseuds/canistakahari
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The moral of this story is: Jim should be careful what he does with McCoy's games.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Press X to Not Die

**Author's Note:**

  * For [gadgetorious](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gadgetorious/gifts).



When disaster comes, it arrives swiftly and without mercy.   
  
Jim doesn't mean to do it. Honest. He knows how Bones gets about his games. Hell, when the console hard-drive crashed and wiped Jim’s perfect  _Portal_  file—finished in two hours and forty-five minutes, all achievements unlocked—Jim had shed several silently manly tears and hurled his controller violently at the wall.   
  
He gets it. He does.   
  
But it’s an  _accident_.   
  
Both Jim and Bones have identical 'Fleet-issued PADDs and because Bones is an enabling bastard both their PADDs have  _Pokemon_  loaded on them. So when Jim grabs what he believes is  _his_  PADD and unthinkingly clears the first save file to begin a new one, it’s not like he's intentionally sabotaging Bones’s painstakingly collected Pokemon army. If he’d known, he never would’ve done it.   
  
“Jim,” says Bones from across the room. He’s nestled in a pile of discarded clothing, apparently too lazy to put them in the laundry chute and get under the covers of his bed to cocoon for warmth. “ _Jim_ , do you have my PADD?”  
  
Jim looks up from where he’s dominating a gym leader battle and says, “What?”  
  
“I have your PADD,” Bones says, with the kind of slow-dawning horror that accompanies unexpected tragedies. “So you must have mine.”  
  
“Oh,” says Jim, and looks down. He quits the game and checks the most recent files and, yup, there’s Bones’s paper on the comparative physiology of Vulcans and Romulans, as well as several medical journals and a rough draft of his thesis topic. “ _Oh_.”   
  
Something cold and slimy and altogether terrible settles into the pit of Jim’s stomach. He’s gripped with a sudden and urgent desire to escape the room by the quickest means possible, brain analyzing vectors and proposed trajectories without any prompting from him. The window? No, it’s locked, that will take valuable seconds to unlatch. The door? Ten feet away, the floor strewn with obstacles. Bones will give chase. Maybe the most honourable option is to commit seppuku?   
  
“I don’t like the sound of that ‘oh,’” says Bones in a pained voice. “Give it here, dammit. What have you done? What are you  _doing_?”  
  
“Nothing,” Jim says hurriedly. He loads up  _Pokemon_  again and quickly checks the save slots. Jesus. He had to go and clear the complete one? He couldn’t have picked the third slot, where Bones apparently started a game, got one gym badge, and quit? Oh god. His life is  _over_.  
  
He looks up and Bones is suddenly  _right there_ , hovering in front of him, eyes wild and mouth tight with tension. “Give it!”  
  
“No!”  
  
“GIVE IT HERE!”  
  
“ _NO!_ ”  
  
Bones leaps. Jim dodges. PADD clutched to his chest, Jim executes a somersault and gets back to his feet right by the window. He dives for the latch just as Bones wraps himself around Jim’s legs and brings them both crashing to the floor with twin  _oofs_.  
  
“WHAT DID YOU DO?” bellows Bones, fumbling to get a good grip on Jim’s flailing legs. “Just tell me what you—”  
  
“Promise you won’t kill me!” yells Jim, hugging the PADD and kicking out so that Bones can’t get close enough to wrap his deft doctor's hands around Jim's throat.  
  
“I can’t promise I’ll  _ever speak to you again_  if you’ve done what I think you’ve done!” snarls Bones. “Dammit, Jim,  _I had caught them all_!”   
  
“I’m sorry!” says Jim. “I thought it was my PADD, I wasn’t paying attention!”  
  
“Six hundred!” pants Bones. “Six hundred and forty-nine  _fucking_  Pokemon, and you DELETED THEM ALL!”  
  
“I’ll get them back!”   
  
“Three hundred hours of my life!” Bones’s eyes are huge and green and there is something deranged lurking there.

“I can get them back!” repeats Jim. “I promise!”  
  
“Aaarghh!” cries Bones, abruptly giving up, rolling onto his back on the floor, and covering his face with his hands. “ _AARHGHG_!”  
  
“I’m sorry,” pants Jim. “Please keep loving me!”  
  
“Shut up,” groans Bones, his voice muffled. “Shut up and let me just lie here in my misery for a while. Oh my god.”  
  
“I—”  
  
“SIX HUNDRED AND FORTY-NINE.”  
  
In the end, there’s nothing for Jim to do but straddle Bones’s hips, cup his face in his hands, and kiss him into quiet pliancy.   
  
“I’m sorry,” Jim murmurs into his mouth.  
  
“It’s okay,” Bones says sullenly. “You’ll be making it up to me for a while, though.”  
  
Jim kisses him again and reaches between them to cup Bones’s cock through his pants. He smirks. “I can handle that.”


End file.
